


Existence in Exile

by ellefromky



Category: From Dusk Till Dawn: The Series
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-01
Updated: 2014-06-03
Packaged: 2018-01-27 20:38:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1721801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ellefromky/pseuds/ellefromky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are few places in the world where two broken people and a culebra can find relative happiness. The barren deserts and small towns of Mexico just happens to be one of them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Kate Fuller awoke from a bizarre dream, her dream world consisted of white fog and moisture, she was running, in her dreams, she is always running. She is always being chased through the fog and the dark. She pulled the sheets back from her sticky body and rubbed at her eyes. She slept in a full-sized bed in the shitty motel room she had been sharing with Seth for over a week now. They had been traveling together for about seven months but that didn't stop the dreams or the feeling she got when she woke up and realized that she wasn't home and she had to relive that day again. Everyday she relived it. 

She reached for the ashtray and the bottle of bourbon next to the bed. She found them without looking; she brought the ashtray up to sit in the hollow between her hipbones, the bottle she nestled under her left arm. Kate was still drunk from the night before but that didn’t stop her from chugging the bottle to remove the cotton feeling from her mouth. Kate felt around for her cigarettes and lighter. She lit the cigarette and sucked poison in deep, her lungs ached but the first cigarette of the day still caused her nervous system to crackle and relax. 

She laid back on the bed and the spinning in her head subsided lightly. Even with her eyes closed, she knew it was night again. She lost another day; she lost the sun and the world of the living. She opened her eyes and stared at the darkening ceiling, the dust particles floating through the air. Another night, another drink, another fuck. She could hear Seth in the shower, she hoped he wouldn't use all of the hot water again. Finding a decent but cheap motel that actually had hot water was a luxury that was sometimes few and far between for them. 

Kate hunched herself up on her elbows and left the cigarette hanging in her mouth while she raked her hand through her dark hair. An instance of vertigo over took her but she struggled to stay up right. She needed to get out of bed, she needed to shower, and hopefully the maid left clean sheets. She put out her cigarette and gathered the flat scratchy sheet around her. She was already naked but not sure how she got that way. She tempted standing up, vertigo reared its ugly head again but Kate's body seemed to steady in a couple of seconds. She dragged her reluctant body to the bathroom and opened the door. Seth was still in the shower, she watched him through the glass door as he washed his hair. She liked watching him, she had come to know his body as well as her own in these months. 

She had lost her virginity to him the night after they left the Titty Twister. They had stayed fucked up for weeks after that day. Their first night together Seth had left her in their room while he went to get food. He had come back with two pints of Jack Daniels and huge bottle of Xanax. He didn't ask Kate if she wanted any and of course she had never taken drugs or even drank besides the shot at the bar Seth had made her take. Kate just wanted to feel numb, to drown out the horror and screaming in her brain. Seth didn't hide his shock and amusement when she took one of the pints and downed four pills in a gulp. It had been really fun at first, Seth told her a lot of stories about him and Richie, they laughed a lot, they talked for hours. 

Then they both got quiet, they sat Indian style on one of the beds staring at one another. Seth had been the first to cry, it was just a tear or two but it had been enough for Kate to know it was okay to cry. They cried and Seth took one of her hands, he kissed her palm so lightly and whispered that he was sorry. Sorry for everything, sorry for kidnapping them, sorry that her family was dead. Kate leaned forward and put her other hand on his face. She knew that she should hate him and a big part of her wanted to but she couldn't. Without Seth she would truly be alone and she would go insane if she had to be alone. She kissed him and told him it was okay, it had to be, because she couldn't survive if she couldn't forgive him. He kissed her back and she let go, let Seth take on her grief and she took on his. 

They made love on that bed in a one star motel in Mexico. Fueled by despair, both broken and shattered and silently begging for the other one to be the person that fixed them. It was slow and not how Kate imagined it would be, she knew it had meant something but she still wasn't sure what it had meant. She didn't care to know anymore. They had fucked a lot since that night but it was almost always sad, grief ridden and hidden behind a drug haze. She knows she makes him feel guilty and part of her still wants him to feel that, to make him live with the ghosts of the lives he's destroyed. Sometimes Kate goes to the nearest bar in what ever shit hole town they happen to be staying in and finds someone to fuck there. To be someone else for a little while, to feel something, to be with someone that doesn't know the tale of woe that is Kate Fuller. 

She watched Seth for a couple of more seconds then shuffled over to the toilet, hoisted up the sheet she was wearing and sat down to pee. Seth finally opened his eyes and saw her sitting there watching him. He jumped and yelled "Jesus fucking Christ, Kate!" He put his hand on his chest as if to steady his heart beat. She laughed and stood up, she dropped her sheet and climbed into the shower with him. She stepped into the hot spray and stood there, her eyes closed and let the water beat down on her shoulders. She could feel Seth watching her, she asked him if he wanted to get something to eat. When he didn't answer she opened her eyes and he was still staring at her.

"What?"

"You couldn't fucking wait for me to get out?"

"No," she answered, she grabbed the soap and asked him if he knew why she was naked when she woke up.

He laughed but she could tell he was pissed at her, "You don't remember?"

She shook her head and ran the soap up and down her arms and across her chest, she smiled as she noticed his eyes had started to wonder to places other then her face. 

"Well, Kate, I had the supreme pleasure of finding you passed out in front of our door. You were covered in puke, I had to drag your little ass in this shower to fucking wake you up. I thought you fucking OD'ed."

He turned off the water, grabbed a towel and stormed out of the bathroom. Kate stood in the shower, hugging her chest and breathed deep. Her hands were shaking, she stepped out the tub and went after Seth. He was still naked and looking through his duffle bag for clothes, his towel laying on the bed. Kate didn't bother to get a towel. 

"Seth," she whispered. Seth ignored her and started throwing shit out of his bag onto the bed. "Seth!" Kate threw up her hands and she thought she might do something humiliating like cry.

"I'm sorry, okay! I didn't mean to scare you." 

He finally turned around and looked at her. He put his hands on his hips and stared at her. His mouth was set in a hard line, it didn't look like the same mouth that had kissed her a thousand times. 

"I really am sorry…it won't happen again, I promise." Kate walked toward him and wrapped her arms around his neck. It took him a couple of seconds to hug her back, she let out a sigh of relief when he did. He held her so tight she thought she might dissolve into him. He pulled back and looked at her, he stroked her hair and searched her face for the truth.

"This isn't the first time its happened, Kate. You have to be careful, you have to take care of yourself. I can't do it all for you." Seth kissed her face and she nodded in agreement. It scared her a little that she didn't remember what happened. She didn't remember leaving the bar, she didn't know how she got back to their room. They stood naked on the thread bare carpet in their shitty room just holding each other.

She kissed him and tried to make it better. She knew he would never ask her stop drinking, to stop with the pills and the fucking around. She would never ask him to stop either, he just handled his chaos better then she did. She let hers spill out and consume her, he knew how to contain his and she watched him try time and time again to contain hers too. What a pair they were, two broken people standing in the middle of sinking boat trying to save each other with a bucket. 

She let go of him and asked him if he wanted to go out, he laughed a little and said yeah. They went to the bar down the street, the one she had been in last night. They took a booth in the corner, ordered a ton of food and bottle of Ten High. Seth started up some conversation with a couple of guys next to them, they were talking about cars or some shit. Kate wasn't really listening, she drank half the bottle on her own and she watched Seth talk and laugh. Kate sometimes forgot how beautiful Seth was, she saw him so much that Kate had become immune to it. 

Kate ran her hand down Seth's back. He turned to Kate and smiled. Kate pushed herself up from the booth and leaned toward him. Seth looked at her curiously, Kate thought he looked even more adorable. She tucked her fingers under the curve of Seth's jaw. She hesitated for a second before kissing him. Seth kissed her back, he always did. It was good, a little sloppy because Kate was drunk but it was good.

Kate broke apart from the kiss and asked Seth if he wanted to go home. He smiled and kissed the side of her face. Seth paid the bill and helped Kate stumble up the street to their room. He had to struggle with Kate to find the keys in her purse but once they were inside, they headed straight to the bed. Kate flopped down on it, her arms and legs stretched out. She closed her eyes, breathed in deep, she felt Seth lay down on top of her. He whispered in Kate's ear, he asked if Kate was still with him. She mumbled yes and tried to put her hands on Seth's waist but she couldn’t make them move. She felt Seth unbuckle her belt and unzip her pants. She felt him undressing her. 

Kate felt Seth's hands on her, move over her, he whispered in Kate's ear and kissed her neck. He was already hard and she couldn’t figure out why Seth was taking so long, when Kate was about to give up and just pass out already she felt Seth's cock pressed against her cunt.

“Kate,” Seth whispered. “Are you awake?”

Kate mumbled yes again and tried to put her arms around him.

“Do you still want to?” He asked and lightly licked the side of Kate's neck.

Kate nodded and opened her eyes, Seth gave her a signature smirk and asked again if she was sure, if she still wanted to. She nodded again and kissed him. When she felt him slide into her she shuddered and moaned. Her was all around her now, infecting her, invading her and Kate didn’t care, she wanted that, to be consumed and to forget about everything. Right now, she just wanted to feel Seth, to really be there with him for just a second but she couldn’t. She gave up trying to as she felt herself sink into sleep. Echos of Seth's voice repeating her name and for some strange reason the faded torn image of Richie clung to the edges of her mind. She let herself fall.


	2. Chapter 2

They leave the next morning after the bar incident and Kate's almost overdose. They drive for four hours that day. Seth seems to have forgiven her and they settle back into their uneasy rhythm. She watches him out of the corner of her eye as the desert rushes past them in the car. She's searching through her bag for ChapStick when she asks Seth where they're going next. He chuckles and says wherever you wanna go, little lady. She doesn't answer just smiles and reapplies her ChapStick, she flips down the sun visor and wipes away the mascara smudges from under her eyes. 

When her sunglasses are back on she takes out the old Altoids tin she carries her weed and pills in, she finds her papers and carefully rolls a joint for them to share. She lights it, takes two hits and passes it to Seth. He inspects it before hitting it and tells her she's getting good at rolling joints. She takes it as the compliment it is and tells him thanks, he passes it back to her and they smoke in silence. Kate likes that Seth can be so quiet. When she first met him she thought he would never shut up but she likes that about him too. She likes the way he talks, it's so theatrical and most of the time unnecessary, he uses forty words when he could use four. 

She finds a flask of whiskey in her bottomless bag and takes a swig from it before sharing it with Seth, their silence stretches out endlessly. She scoots closer to him and leans her head on his shoulder, she loves it when they steal an old car with a cab seat and it makes her wonder why they stopped making them. Seth takes the hint and moves to put his arm around her. He's humming some song that Kate doesn't know, she listens to the humming vibrations in his chest and closes her eyes. Then suddenly Seth is shaking her awake, she doesn't remember falling asleep, they are parked outside of a little motel and Seth tells her he got them a room. She helps him carry their bags and when they open the door to their room they are hit with a blast of sweltering heat. 

Seth grunts a goddamn it and goes straight to the window air conditioner when they are in the room. He turns it on full blast and stands there letting barely cool air hit him in the face. Kate drops their bags and immediately starts struggling to take off the t-shirt and jeans that are plastered to her. She kicks off her jeans and sandals and sits Indian style on the bed in her tank top and underwear. He looks over at her says she's got the right idea and starts stripping off his own clothes. 

They lay on the bed and stare at the ceiling fan that isn't actually doing anything but moving the hot air around. Seth takes her hand in his and kisses it, he kisses each one of her fingers and knuckles, her palm and wrist. Kate shivers even though she can feel the sweat running down her back. He turns and gives her that look she knows so well, he takes her face in his strong hands and kisses her. Kisses her so gently and soft like he always does. Like she is some fragile doll that can never be taken out from behind the glass for fear of breaking it. 

His eyes are still glassy from the joint they smoked and it makes him look like a child, it makes her heart hurt and stomach flip. They kiss and kiss and Kate moves her hands slowly over him. Seth gets on top of her, he kisses Kate's neck and the inside of her elbow. He runs his hands over her bra and makes a motion for her to turn over a little, and he unhooks it with ease. Kate lives for the way this turns off the noise, the endless chatter in her brain and replaces it with soft warm static, she lets herself feel. She lets herself be in the moment. Seth slips his hand in her underwear and moves his fingers inside her. Kate moans slightly but tries not think if she thinks she might get scared, run and ruin everything between them. Seth whispers incoherent words to her; Kate catches little bits and pieces of it.

She tells Seth that he's perfect, his cock is beautiful, he makes her so wet she can't stand it. She aches for him to be inside her. Seth groans and kisses her so hard she's left breathless. He runs his hands hungrily over her, possessing her and she tries to hold on to some sense of herself. He pulls down her underwear and looks in her eyes when he pushes inside her. She gasps and he kisses her with his eyes open. He fucks her slow and deep. 

He kisses her and she whispers for him to fuck her harder. His eyes glint, he smirks and does as she asks, his thrusts pounding into her like waves but it isn't enough. She wants more, she doesn't want him to hold back, she wants him to fuck her like he fucks other women. Not like he always is with her, so careful and gentle. She doesn't want gentle, she wants him to fuck her so hard she'll break, to hold her so tight it feels like her ribs are cracking. In a breathy whisper she begs him to fuck her harder.

He pulls back slightly and looks at her, he asks if she's sure, he says he doesn't want to hurt her.

"I want you to," she tells him, tracing his lips with her tongue, biting into his neck and her wrapping her legs around his waist to hold him deeper and tighter to her.

He doesn't hold back this time, he fucks her like he's wanted to fuck her like this since that first night, he had only been waiting for permission. He pushes her arms above her head and takes both of her small wrists in one of his large strong hands. He fucks her so hard she can't breathe or think, the world falls away and when she comes she sees stars, it wracks her body and sets her on fire. Seth grabs fistfuls of her hair and holds her still while he comes. Seth's weight grounds her and brings her back into her body. When it's over his cock is still inside her and she runs her fingertips softly up and down his back while he catches his breath. 

"That was pretty fucking good, little lady." 

Kate lets out a shrill laugh and smacks him hard on the ass.

"Pretty fucking good?!"

Seth laughs and peppers her face and mouth with soft kisses. "You know it was fucking great." He says in between kisses. 

"You bet your goddamn ass it was," Kate informs him, he just laughs and keeps on kissing her. 

He rolls off her and onto his back, staring at the peeling paint on the ceiling. Kate stretches and rubs at her wrists, she wonders if there will be bruises tomorrow, part of her hopes that there is. Her pussy aches and throbs in a delicious way and she knows she's going be sore tomorrow. Seth gets up to find his cigarettes and Kate gets the Altoid tin out of her bag and starts breaking up four Xanax bars on her makeup mirror for them to snort. Seth climbs back into bed and hands her the cigarette he has started smoking. She takes a drag and cuts their lines. She gives Seth the mirror and the straw that she keeps. He waves it away and says, "Ladies first, I insist." 

Kate's laugh comes out as snort and she puts her hand on her chest like she is truly touched by his offer and replies "Seth Gecko, you are a real gentleman." When Kate finishes her lines she lights another cigarette and rubs Seth's back while he does his. They finish off what is left in her flask and pass the cigarette back and forth. 

"Seth," Kate asks.

"Yeah," he answers, tapping off the cigarette ash in a paper cup on the nightstand.

The question catches in her throat and suddenly she feels embarrassed. She feels like a one of those stupid needy girls and Seth is going to think she's one too if she asks him but she has to know.

"Are you happy?" She mumbles, unable to look at him, she stares straight ahead and at nothing else, she doesn't want him to see her cry if he says no. "With me, I mean, are you happy being with me?"

She doesn't look at him but she can feel him looking at her, his eyes seeing right through her, seeing all of the weak parts of herself that she tries to bury.

He puts his hand on her cheek and turns her face so that they're looking in each other's eyes. They stare silently at each other for what feels like eternity.

"Yeah, baby, I'm happy." He whispers and wipes away a tear that betrays her and leaks out from the corner of her eye.

She smiles and kisses him and tells him that she's happy too. He asks her if she really is and something in his face tells her that just like her, he didn't know if she truly was. She reassures him that she is and watches as Seth smiles at her softly and nods off to sleep. Kate snorts two more pills and tries watching TV but there isn't one channel that comes in clearly so she gives up and just turns it off. She gets out of bed and starts to pull her clothes back on, she figures she might as well see if there is a grocery or liquor store near by. They haven't eaten since breakfast and she knows Seth will be hungry and pissed off when he wakes up. She grabs her bag and the keys, she leaves Seth a note telling him where she's going and signs it XOXO, Kate. Its dark when she steps outside the room and its gotten a little cooler. She jumps in the car, lights a cigarette and blasts the stereo, she picks a direction and starts driving. Kate rolls down the window and it feels so good to be driving again. She worries for a second she might be too high to drive, but once she starts, she knows she's okay. The warm night air fills the car and Kate feels amazing and electric. She tosses her cigarette out the window and thinks about Seth. 

It takes almost 20 minutes for her to find a grocery store that's still open. When she gets out of the car she sees three guys standing outside drinking and talking in the parking lot. Kate ignores them when they whistle at her and yell at her to come over and talk to them. She goes inside and heads straight for the liquor aisle, she gets two pints of Jack, a pint of Smirnoff and a six pack of some Mexican brand beer. She doesn't remember if they have a microwave or not but she goes with her gut and bets that they don't. She grabs some sandwiches from the deli that don't look too bad. She hopes it at least won't give them e coli, she gets a few more things that she knows Seth really likes and gets a new red nail polish for herself. She picks up four packs of cigarettes when she checks out and heads back to the car. 

She unlocks the door and puts the bags next to her in the front seat. She tries to start the car and nothing happens, Kate tries again and nothing, the engine doesn't even grind or try to turn over. She hits the steering wheel with her hands and yells godfuckingdamnit at herself. She pops the hood and throws open the door to get out, she vaguely remembers Seth saying something about the battery in this car. He didn't want to take it but she made him because she liked it so much and now it was coming back to bite her in the ass. She tries wiggling the connectors on the battery and gets back in the car to try it again, nothing happens. 

Kate gets back out and slams the door. She leans against the door and tries to call Seth. His phone goes straight to voicemail and she curses him because she knows he fucking forgot to charge it. He always forgets and she's the one that always has to do it. Kate tries to think of the name of their motel but she doesn't remember even seeing the sign. She's thankful she's at least high right now or she would be freaking out already, the pills are keeping her calm. Suddenly her whole body tenses and she hears someone walking up behind her. It's the guys she saw earlier, they are drunk and laughing, pointing to the car. She still doesn't know a lot of Spanish but even she can figure out they're asking about the car. She tells them 'yo no hablo espanol'. She tells them that she's fine and doesn't need their help, she thanks them anyway.

They stop laughing and stare at her. One of them starts talking very fast, she doesn't catch much of it but she thinks he is calling her a stuck up white bitch. Kate backs aways while he's still talking and pointing his finger at her. She turns around to walk back into the store when one of them grabs her arm and pulls her back hard. She fumbles to get the pepper spray out of her bag, she points it at the one that grabbed her and yells at him to back the fuck off. He smirks menacingly and pushes her hard against the front of the car, she crumbles and hits the back of her head on the edge of the hood. She thumps to the ground and the lights go out, she can't see and all she can hear is ringing. 

It takes a minute for her to catch her breath and the ringing to lessen to a dull roar. Her eye sight is coming back when she sees another man walk up to the car. He asks the three other men if there is problem here. They start yelling at him in Spanish and Kate can't understand it. She tries to lift her head but she can't, she hears them start to fight and then she sees the guy that grabbed her laying next to her on the ground knocked out cold, covered in blood. She tries to get up, to run, but her head feels like it weighs a thousand pounds and she thinks she might puke. She closes her eyes and tries to breathe. The fighting stops and she listens as someone bends down beside her. 

She hears a man with an American accent say, "What do we have here…a damsel in distress," and she could swear she knows that voice. Her eyes are too heavy to open and she just wants to be back in her room with Seth, she just wants to sleep. She can feel the man's hands on her face, he's moving her hair out of the way. She listens as his breathing catches in his chest and he starts to laugh. He says, "Well I'll be damned, fancy meeting you here Katie-cakes."

Her eyes fly open at the familiar nickname, no one but her dad ever called her that. When her eyes focus she's staring into the smiling face of Richie Gecko. He's still laughing a little and smiling like it's Christmas morning and he just got everything he asked Santa for. 

"Richie," she says in an exasperated tone. "Oh, fuck me…what the hell are you doing here?"

"Apparently beating the hell out those assholes and saving you."

"Fuck you, Richie," she groans turning away from him, she can't take looking at him anymore. 

He laughs and slips her hands under her arms, effortlessly lifting her up and sitting her back against the driver's side door.

"Is that anyway to talk to your knight in shining armor? Man, I wish you'd been awake to see me kick those guys asses."

She turns her face back to look at him, he's still smiling, he actually looks really happy to her. She asks him again what he's doing here. He sighs as if she's asking him the stupidest question he's ever heard and says what the fuck does she think he's doing, he was looking somebody to eat. He smirks at the shocked expression that shifts across her face. He tells her not to worry, he ate one of those guys. He asks her what she's doing here. She tells him that her and Seth are staying at a motel about twenty minutes from here, she came out to get groceries and the car stalled, those assholes started fucking with her. 

"You're with Seth?" He asks, his eyebrows raising at the question, like he can't believe Seth actually took her with him when he left. 

She nods, he lets out a low whistle and says, well don't the surprises just keep on coming tonight, more to himself then to her. Richie picks her up and carries her to the passenger side of the car, she can see the broken men on the ground and tries not to look, tries not to feel too happy that they're dead. Richie sets her down gently on the seat, he closes the door and goes to look under the hood of the car. It takes about a minute and he's back in the driver seat, the engine turns over and he looks at her and smiles. She smiles back, she knows she hasn't thanked him yet, she doesn't know how to. How do thank someone for what he did? Richie puts the car in reverse and asks her where they're staying. He starts humming the song Seth was humming that morning.


End file.
